The Leadership Paradox
When admitting you have no idea what you're doing can actually be the most effective leadership skill.
TLDR: Effective leadership is inherently a paradox; contradicting traits that requires you to know exactly where you’re going while simultaneously admitting that you have no idea what you’re doing.
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For as long as anyone can remember, we’ve had an over-admiration of leaders. We’ve been curious about who they are, where they come from, and what sets them apart from others. We want to know what they eat, how they dress, what time they wake up, and if they struggle in the same ways that we do. We’ve become so enamored with these larger than life authority figures that we often forget that they are still people – complex humans just like the rest of us.
That’s why this quote quickly became my all-time favorite:
“Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It is precisely that simple and it is also that difficult.” (Warren G. Bennis)
Among many things, Warren Bennis was a scholar and the Founding Chairman of The Leadership Institute at USC where he pioneered the field of Leadership Studies. To put it another way, he institutionalization of our infatuation with leaders. Since then, we have hypothesized, researched, and become totally obsessed with what good (and bad) leadership really looks like.
Even though leadership positions have existed for centuries, our understanding of leadership and its developmental stages are still in its infancy. Sure, we’ve profiled archetypes, adopted habits of our favorite leaders, and claimed their philosophies as our own. We’ve idealized certain traits and shamed others all in the name of replicating the influence, the authority, and ultimately, the success we want.
Yet still, we’ve obsessively emulated great leaders for a reason. Power, effectiveness, and the path to glory is so seductive. Trying on what others are doing and saying is part of the learning process. You have to experiment with what you see around you to know what resonates. But that kind of exploration can only get you closer to you, so long as you use it as a tool to become you. Otherwise, you’ll just become someone else – chasing someone else’s life and someone else’s dream.
Leadership is earned, not granted.
I’m not sure that we’ll ever stop talking about what makes a leader. The way I see it, is that the position of a leader is always earned, it’s never really granted, and I hope that at some point we can stop over-associating titles and hierarchy with leadership. Just because you have an executive title doesn’t make you a leader. This is because there is an intrinsic paradox in the responsibility of leadership that a title alone will never be able to execute. It’s called EQ — emotional intelligence — your ability to identify your emotional experience and recognize the emotional experience of others.
As a leader, you have to set the vision for where you’re going and have strong enough conviction to know what the future can hold, but, at the same time, you have to be capable of knowing when your team needs to hear that you don’t know something. You need to know what you’re doing, but also be willing to say when you don’t. You have to be confident yet humble, tactical yet strategic, outspoken yet a quiet listener. Hence, the paradox. I know it can be a dizzying line to walk that can feel like it requires almost sniper-like instincts. But it’s your job to navigate the nuance.
In fact, paradox is actually so ingrained in the essence of effective leadership that something called Paradox Leadership Theory has emerged in business school to explore the interdependent yet contradictory aspects of effective leadership.
At many points along the journey of company building, you’ll face something known as VUCA — vulnerability, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. This is a breeding ground for paradox. How do you navigate the need to implement change yet maintain stability? How do you prioritize long-term scale and short term solutions?
In leadership, there are no right answers, but there are certainly bad, good, and best answers. Your job is to lead in the face of paradox, navigate the nuance, and comfortably cope with the conflicting demands in these ever-evolving, complex environments.
Where do you start? The first step is about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
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